A Day with a Postpartum Doula

Maybe you’ve heard of postpartum doulas? Maybe you’ve even heard how magical they are? But do you know what it looks like to have the support of a postpartum doula with you during the day? Take a look at today’s blog to get a better understanding of how postpartum doulas support new parents during their postpartum recovery.

How the Day Starts

Didn’t you just close your eyes after being up all night long with your one-week old baby? How is it already morning and how is this baby already crying again to be fed? Your partner is up and getting ready for work - unfortunately they didn’t have much leave time and are headed back to the office after only 1 week off - and they bring the baby to you. You struggle to get into a comfortable position in bed to feed your baby and after several attempts at latching, finally get your baby to begin eating. A quick kiss goodbye from your partner and you’re now officially on your own. Your first day alone with this new baby.

Hopes of getting the baby settled back into the bassinet after the feeding quickly start to vanish, as every time you try to set them down, their little eyes pop open and they begin fussing. It’s decided - you will drink your coffee one-handed and hold the baby so at least one of you can sleep. You sink into the couch and take in the disaster that is all around you - dishes piled up in the sink from last night’s dinner, dirty burp cloths scattered around, and that smell seems to be coming from you since you can’t remember the last time you took a shower. How are you going to get through this day alone???

And then you remember, you’re not alone. Your postpartum doula will be here soon!

Your Doula Arrives

A gentle knock at the front door means that your doula is here. Your baby is hungry again and you’ve been struggling for the last few minutes to get them to latch comfortably. You answer the door with a hungry, crying baby in your arms and tears immediately begin flowing when you see that kind, familiar face on the other side.

Without having to say anything, your doula immediately steps in. She sets her things down, goes to the kitchen to wash her hands, and then holds the baby for a minute, while you get comfortable on the couch. She reminds you to make yourself comfortable first, arranging pillows and making sure that you feel nice and supported, before sitting down next to you to help with this feeding session. A couple of pointers about positioning and instantly things are feeling better with the latch. It’s almost as if both you and the baby can feel her calming energy.

As your baby nurses, your doula checks in on you. How are you feeling physically? Are you healing well from birth? Have you had opportunities to get some uninterrupted sleep or a long, hot shower? How are you doing emotionally? How are you feeling about your partner’s return to work? How are you adjusting to the demands of a new baby? How are YOU??? And it dawns on you that this is really the first time since giving birth that someone has really checked in on you. Not the baby, but you. And it feels so good to be able to talk honestly about this whole transition.

Your baby is full and content and sleeping. You’ve had an opportunity to talk openly without fear of judgment and you feel validated and listened to. All of those questions that had been building up about baby sleep and baby feeding and baby care have been answered by the doula and you are now starting to feel a little more confident. When your doula then asks what your goals are for the shift, it takes a moment to realize you can have time to yourself. Wait, really???

The thought of a long, hot shower, followed by an uninterrupted nap until it’s time to feed the baby again sounds like absolute heaven. You kiss your sweet baby on the head, hand them to your doula, and head upstairs.

How the Day Ends

You wake up from your nap to your doula quietly entering your bedroom to let you know your baby is ready to eat again. You come downstairs to find the dishwasher unloaded and loaded back up, the kitchen and living room tidied, and your doula folding a basket of laundry. The diaper station has been stocked and your water bottle has been refilled. As you nurse your baby, you chat with your doula about how the afternoon went. You’re amazed to hear that your baby napped in the bassinet and your doula talks with you about some swaddling and soothing techniques she tried that helped. After your baby is full and content, the two of you practice together and you’re so happy to get your baby settled and sleeping in their bassinet.

As the shift ends, your doula brings you a cup of tea and a plate of cheese and crackers. You two talk about your next shift together and get something scheduled. She leaves you cozied up on the couch, feeling rested and calm and enjoying a little bit of that postpartum doula magic.

Kelly Rutan