Mom Burn Out Meet Mom Crash Out
We are in the thick of “Maycember” here at my house. I have 4 teenagers living with me this year (2 are exchange students) and none of them have a driver’s license but they are all involved in end of the year activities like prom, musicals, dance recitals, and band concerts. Oh, they also have to do volunteer hours, some of them have jobs, and they just want to hang with their friends. Guess who they ask to drive them to all the things? Yep, you guessed it. Good old Mom.
Of course I want to be a good mom. I want them to have good experieneces and make memories. What I DON’T want to do is spend hours each day driving them around, especially on the weekends. That also means I have to rearrange my OWN schedule and put whatever I need or want to do on the back burner.
All these activities and me being everyone’s personal chauffer had left me frazzled. I felt like I had absolutely no down time and was beholden to everyone’s schedule but my own. I was holding it all together by a very loose thread. Then, 2 of the teens asked me to take them to see a show at another high school on a Friday night. Oh I also had to pick them up after the show. This school is 45 minutes away. Plus, I had to also pick up my son from a rehearsal at HIS school that was in the exact opposite direction. No big deal..maybe I could just take them to this show early? No matter this would have meant about 4 hours of continuous driving for me..and have you SEEN gas prices recently?!
Everything went blank. I felt my blood pressure rising and the fury of a thousand suns about to burst out of me. Flames came out of my ears. A tirade to be the mother of all tirades was forming on my tongue. It was about to be THE CRASH OUT OF ALL CRASH OUTS.
And then it wasn’t. I took a deep breath. I let it out. And I said the words every child dreads…No. No I won’t be able to take you to that show. Get a ride with a friend if you really want to go. And I went on with my day. They didn’t end up getting a ride but they also lived with the disappointment. And they were fine.
The next day, I did nothing. After I got over the guilt of doing nothing, I rested. I took a nap. I read. I called my parents and chatted with them. I texted with some friends. There were so many times I was tempted to do a chore or two or work on my business or go work out. But I held firm to my committment of doing nothing. And let me tell you this..IT. WAS.GLORIOUS.
That Do Nothing Day was exactly what I needed. You see, I had become so stressed from all the kid activities it just took one kid request to push me over the edge. I needed the time to breathe and just BE. I would like to say that this is how I have always handled things. More often that not, I have let things build and build until I erupt by yelling at the kids for something minor or become completely emotionally unavailable for periods of time.
Being a mom is hard. Being a mom in 2026 is REALLY hard. Set your boundaries with your partner and kids. Say no sometimes. I can’t volunteer for that. No, I can’t meet with you that day. No, I am not available for a call. No, I can’t drive you to see a show 45 minutes away. Start seeing the word “No” as an ally for your mental health and don’t let yourself get so burned out that you crash out.