Love and Kids: What Happens When I Don’t?

Love. Love. Love. With Valentine’s just a few days away, love is in the air this week. That’s why this week on the blog we’re talking about all the people who get a little love in your life - friends, partners, even you. And of course, your kids, right. Right?

But what happens when you’re just not feeling the love?

If after nine months of pregnancy and hours and hours of labor you don’t feel an instant bond with that squawking little baby on your chest, is there something wrong with you?

If you want to run away to a desert island (or at least a luxury spa) after walking the floor all night with a fussy, teething 6 month old, does this make you a bad mother?

If you’d rather run to the dentist’s office than get up one more time to refill your toddler’s snack bowl, are you failing at parenthood?

The answer to all of those questions is: NO. No, falling out of love with your kids sometimes does not make you a bad mother.

In fact, it makes you a totally normal mother. It’s totally normal to unconditionally love your kids, to know that you would die for them, but at the same time to not love every part of motherhood. And embracing this truth is the secret to guilt-free parenting.

We all lose our shit some days. Other days we want nothing more than a few, kid-free hours all to ourself. And none of this changes how much we love our kids.

Becoming a parent won’t make you perfect. It won’t make you stop having your own needs and wants and wishes. It won’t give you endless amounts of patience. But it will give you a love like you’ve never experiened before. It’s the kind of love that makes you feel like your heart will explode some days. It’s a love that makes you want nothing more than for your little one to fall asleep and then make you sneak into their room hours later just to gaze at that perfect little face. It’s the kind of love that demands a night away with your partner to refresh, just to do nothing but talk about your baby all night and then rush home to them when you can’t stand to be away a minute more.

That’s the kind of love that we reserve for our kids. It’s not perfect but it is unconditional. And we know you love your kids, even when you don’t want to. That’s what makes us parents.