What We (Don’t) Want for Mother’s Day

This Sunday, May 12, is Mother’s Day. Whether you just became a mom or have been one for decades, it’s likely that someone in your life will ask you about what what you’d like for Mother’s Day. Popular choices include going out to brunch with family, flowers, and a gift certificate for a mani/pedi. While that all sounds great let’s make sure our loved ones know what NOT to give us on Sunday (husbands, we are looking at you!)…

  1. Cleaning products

    Thank you, next.

  2. A Day with our Mother in Law

    Don’t get us wrong, We are very thankful for her but she’s not our Mom. She would prefer to spend the day with her son anyway.

  3. A positive pregnancy test

    Oh my. We already ARE mothers. No thank you. If this sounds like a terrible thing to you just skip over #4.

  4. A negative pregnancy test

    OK so maybe it has taken a really really long time to get pregnant and this would make our day. We would give anything to become a mother.

  5. A day with the kids

    You mean those people that create messes everywhere they go? Those people that follow us in to the bathroom to ask for a snack (after they’ve walked by another able-bodied adult?)? Those people that torture us with never ending playlists of Baby Shark? Yeah, we see them a lot already.

  6. A day without the kids

    Man those kids have grown up fast. When did they all get so busy? Why haven’t we seen them at all this week? Sure would love to spend the day with them.

  7. Jewelry made of pasta

    OK so we will definitely wear this with pride if one of our angels makes this for us. Just don’t let it come unaccompanied without a beautiful necklace with the birthstones of our children.

  8. Coupons for services

    You know the ones. One free Clean my Room or one free Wash the Dishes. We all know that a) we will lose the coupon and b) these things will never happen without us nagging someone about it. Better idea: just do the things. Amazing!

  9. Massage from our husband

    Look, buddy, we love you but this just isn’t your thing. Plus, see #3. We all know how that second kid happened. It all started with one of your massages. Go ahead and do us a solid by booking an appointment for us somewhere for a 1 hr massage. Take us there and pick us up.

There ya go. A great list of what not to get us for Mother’s Day. Happy Mother’s Day 2019 to all the people out there who identify as mothers.