Boundaries for the Holidays
** The sound of jingle bells and Mariah Carey vocalizing **
All I want for Christmas is….healthy boundaries with my familyyyyyy
Okay, so it doesn’t quite have the same catchy vibe as the classic All I Want for Christmas is You. But trust me, this is still a pretty popular request this time of year, especially for families who are navigating the holidays as first-time parents. If you are struggling with boundary setting around the holidays, this blog is for you.
Don’t Let Anyone Make You Feel Unreasonable
As we begin to gather again for the holidays, don’t let anyone make you feel like your requests regarding the health of your baby are unreasonable. Every one has different comfort levels when it comes to things like flu, RSV, or Covid and that is okay! If you want to limit the size of family gatherings, ask that people test before coming over, or wear a mask in your home or while holding your baby, you can set those guidelines. There’s nothing worse than a sick baby. Wait, actually there is! There’s nothing worse than a sick baby over the holidays, so don’t feel bad for putting boundaries in place when it comes to your family’s health.
Your Family’s Well-Being is More Important than Someone’s Feelings
Okay, that might sound a little harsh at first, but hear me out. Maybe Aunt Linda’s feelings will be hurt if your toddler doesn’t want to give her a hug. Or perhaps Grandmom will be offended that your preschooler refuses to sample the fruitcake. Or it could be that Uncle Bill still thinks it’s okay to make comments about people’s weight or body type and you will be the one to set him straight. It’s way more important to stand up for the beliefs and values of your family than to say nothing just to spare someone’s feelings. This is all part of healthy boundary setting and in the long run, you will be glad you did.
No is a Complete Sentence
Yep, it sure is. You do not have to pass your baby around like a side dish. You do not have to travel or spend the holidays in someone else’s home if you don’t want to. You do not have to overextend yourself and your bank account to meet some unattainable standard of perfection. You can say NO to any and all of these things. We give you permission.